Two Words
by CorpralCarrot
Summary: What was he? A coward who was just going to sit and stare at his best friends door, that's what. Why was this so hard? Swearing, nopairing, friendship, one shot.


**A/N: So, yeah. Last day of finals, and I write this. xDD Honestly, Cloud's feelings about apologizing are my own, so this kinda helped me with my own problem and stress. **

**Warning: Swearing  
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**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for my imagination.  
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Out of all the things that life had thrown at him, he had always had his rock, he had always had his grounding, his solitary hand-hold. Looked like he fucked that up royally, and honestly, he wasn't surprised in the slightest. Everything he did seemed to upset someone , hurt someone, drive someone off, and that was when he wasn't even trying. To be fair, on some extent, he wasn't the most eloquent with words, and that tended to end up being the bullet that he fired into his foot, while a fucking smile on his face.

A tired hand ran over his face, the motion one he had repeated through out the day since he had shot his mouth off without thinking.

However, what made him hate himself more, was the fact that he couldn't even man up to the fact that he had hurt the one person who had always stuck on his side, who had taught him, who had always made him see the bright side. Every time he looked in the direction of his room-mate's bedroom door, a feeling of shame, rage, sorrow, and a vague sense of nausea welled up. He wouldn't cry, he couldn't, there was something that was blocking him, no matter how bad he felt. He had no way of apologizing, he would open his mouth, hand poised over to knock on the door, really to apologize and let it be over with. Then, the shame would make him mute again, and the frustrating mix of self-pity and terror that it would be rejected would crash over him, like a wave breaking on the shore.

He was truly pathetic.

What kind of friend couldn't even apologize? A bad friend, a cruel friend, a friend who couldn't look into the eyes of those he had hurt and ask for forgiveness, not that he particularly thought he deserved it. To be honest, he wasn't sure what he had done wrong, but he figured he had done something pretty bad, considering he hadn't seen Zack since about one in the afternoon, and it was now almost seven in the evening. He tightened his arms around his knees even tighter, the twisting, churning feeling in his gut just got worse. Why couldn't he just apologize, and get it over with? Zack would probably forgive him, and they'd be buds again. His heart pounded in his chest, and he shoved the thoughts away, black and sticky, ignoring the whispers of doubt and lies.

He stared blankly at the television, not truly seeing it. He couldn't man up to the act of apologizing, he knew he was wrong, but yet here he was, sitting on the couch like a damn coward, which he was, stressing out over saying two little words, that would start to try and mend things again. Cloud bit his lip, his teeth nearly breaking skin. He could apologize, but what if Zack didn't want to see his face, or hear his voice. What if he just nodded and closed the door in his face again. God, that would hurt worse than just about everything else combined. However, he had to try. By God, he just had to. He couldn't let this fester, burn and boil between them like some sort of wound, that would just kill their friendship. They'd been friends for too long. Way too long to let this drag on.

He wasn't aware of getting off their couch, and trudging off towards his friend's door, stress and anxiety making his hands shake, his heart pound, mouth go dry, and his head become dizzy and light, the world became off kilter very quickly. He stared at the door, a feeling of dread and horror making his wide blue eyes seem even wider and more 'deer in the headlights' than normal. He raised one shaking hand, and he willed himself to stop shaking, and man up. It was two words, two words, but oh, the weight they had. He stared at the door, and he knocked, very, very quietly. No response. Obviously, he was too quiet about his knocking. He took a deep breath, and just as he was about to knock again, the plain brown door opened, to reveal his shirtless room-mate standing there. For a second, blue met aqua, and the normal shine in the later dimmed, normally smiling lips were flat and drawn.

He was still mad. His heart started to gallop in his chest, bent on getting the hell away.

Zack cocked an eyebrow, gently moved his younger friend to the side, and padded down the carpeted hallway towards the bathroom. Chance lost. The start of tears welled up, before he turned away, going for the kitchen, forcing the liquid away. He wasn't a girl, damn it, and he wasn't going to cry. He had no idea why it made him so anxious to say something so simple. Then again, he and his mother had never really apologized to one another, they had merely went quiet for a few hours, and the next day, it was as if nothing had happened. Maybe it was because he didn't have experience saying the words, a strange sense of twisted pride.

Twenty minutes later, and Zack strolled into their overly bright kitchen, black hair wet, but still spiking defiantly. Cloud stared at his glass of water as his friend got a pot out of the cabinet, and started making quick and easy ramen. The silence was painful, and finally, Cloud looked up, opening his mouth, his heart bursting with the speed it was racing.

" H-hey, Z-Zack,"

The black haired man turned to look at him, raising a single eyebrow at the blonde seated at their modest table, glass of water half drunk before him.

"Yeah?"

Cloud swallowed, took a breath, opened his mouth, and closed it again.

Zack sighed , rolled his eyes, and turned back to his motionless water. Damn water, not boiling, made him kinda awkward, but hey.

Cloud licked his lips. Took a breath.

"I'm sorry."

The words were soft and broken by a hitched breath, and a feeling of self loathing covered him like a blanket.

Zack looked at the blond, said friend's eyes covered by blonde bangs. His mouth half tightened, half quirked. 'Typical little martyr' he mused, but he felt a stirring of amusement, and he half resented it. Why couldn't he stay totally pissed at his friend? Probably 'cause he'd been his friend so long. He walked over, hand settling on Cloud's head, a slight smile quirking his features.

" It's alright. "

Cloud slowly looked up at him, blinking. Zack grinned.

"Seriously. It's cool. "

Cloud blinked again, confusion well written on his face.

" What?"

Zack sighed, shaking his head, and taking on the tone of someone who is explaining something too simple to someone who was slow, or half asleep.

"You apologized, I accepted. That's how things go, about small tiffs like this. Don't sweat it, Choco-butt."

Cloud smiled, batting the hand, and standing up.

"Don't use that tone, Zack, I'm not stupid. Now, step away from the stove before you burn the water."

An offended look crossed the dark haired man's features.

"Yes ma'am, jeez!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, snorting. Yeah, things would be just fine.

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**A/N: So, read, review, or don't, doesn't matter, but they'd make me happy to go with my joy of finishing my first full year in college. -wink- I'll see ya'll later, there is a chapter of I&C in the works, that _isn't _a filler. So yeah. See ya'll soon!**

**C.C  
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